Is there a better way of living?

Blueprints and Goals

When we build buildings we start with a set blueprints and specifications.  The blueprints show us what the building should look like when it’s finished.  The specifications tell us the rules of how it needs to be constructed.  There are inevitably challenges and hurdles along the way that may require a revision.  But, the building will usually end up being built as it is designed.

For most of my adult life, I have approached life the same way.  I set goals and work toward them.  Things don’t always go as planned but the challenges are seen as hurdles that must be overcome to stay on track.  Upon reaching each goal there is a sense of pride.  This pride is similar to that feeling of standing back and looking at a completed building I worked on.

Is there another/better way?

But should I approach life the same way I approach a construction project?  I recently read a post by the minimalists that challenged this way of thinking.  By chasing my goals and “beginning with the end in mind” have I missed some of the beauty along the way?  Have I forgone certain experiences or opportunities by focusing on the target I set before I began?  There are countless cliché quotes about life being a journey and not a destination, enjoying the ride, and so on.  I’ve always compared them to the military mantra of “embrace the suck” and just a way to try to help us deal with hard times.  I think there is more to it than that.

I think that the countless goals we create can become a burden we carry.  It is like the endless checklist of projects around the house or other things we “should be doing” instead of just watching the squirrels and birds for a little while.  The goals tended to make me feel like anything not moving in that direction was a distraction.  And, as a consequence the pressure I put on myself grows and I feel guilt for “wasting time.”  I have created the very loads I struggle to carry.  While the focus on these goals has helped me achieve many things academically and professionally, it has not brought real joy or peace.  Degrees and titles are for outward recognition.  The pursuit of knowledge and self-actualization are the internal motivators that really matter.

Are most business and productivity books wrong?

In 100 years, no one will care if the floors in the house shined, or if there were dishes in the sink overnight.  It won’t matter if there were dirty hand prints on the walls or toys left out in the yard.  It won’t matter how many awards or degrees I’ve earned.  It won’t matter what job titles I held.  But, what will matter?  This is not a rhetorical question.  It is something we should all ask ourselves.

So, moving forward I will attempt to live a better way.  Fewer goals.  Less urgency.  Learning to say no sometimes.  Fewer possessions.  But this should bring me more free time, more peace, time to create, and the opportunity to say yes to real priorities.  It will allow me to be good at a few things instead of mediocre at many things.  It will fail sometimes.  I will slip back into old modes of thinking and beat myself up.  It will happen.  But, that can’t stop me from trying.

Recognizing and Dismissing Marketing Efforts

The world tries to bombard us with distraction, false urgency, manufactured needs, dissatisfaction, jealousy, greed, lust, and longing all for the sake of profits.  Advertisements and marketing drive me bananas.  The messaging and motives are so shallow and obvious.  The endless barrage of self-doubt, insecurity, and feelings of inferiority drive depression, division, and unproductive competition.  The glorification of shopping and the perception of buying things as a hobby has caused many of the personal and ecological problems we now face.  There must be some point of saturation or breaking point where it all falls apart.

Things can change once people begin to recognize and dismiss the attempts to treat us as ignorant consumers.    ESPN estimates that the sports collectible industry brings in $2 billion a year.  Other annual estimates include the jewelry market at $150 billion, diamonds at $72 billion, lunch boxes at $100 million, toys at $20 billion, and the home decor market approaching $664 billion.  Imagine the problems that money could solve if our expenditures matched our priorities!  We are chasing moving targets.  The goals set by marketing executives are like hurdles on a track.  Once you get over one, another appears.  There’s no winning.

What’s one man to do?

I don’t expect to change the entire world.  But, I want to change mine.  I want to set a good example for the kids and show them a better way.  In fact, there are countless people (and bloggers) who have recognized these things and changed their behavior and neighborhoods.  I feel I’m lucky to be able to pull from the experience of so many as I start to turn things around for my family.  Countless people have blazed a trail and left breadcrumbs (and books, videos, and websites) for the rest of us to follow.  The challenge will not be in finding out what works, but in finding what works for us.

If you can relate to my feeling of frustration with the world, my desire for something more meaningful and rewarding, and my hope that fundamental change is achievable, then join me.  I will attempt to throw away the set of blueprints that map out the traditional “american dream” filled with consumerism, the endless cycle of debt, over-sized houses, a TV for every room, toxic chemicals for cleaning every surface, and closely manicured monoculture lawns.  I will attempt to allow for trial and error, take detours as I see fit, and live and grow organically and free, as living things were meant to do.